It will take me a minute to get all my debts together but I will post those as soon as I can. I do want to answer Jan’s question in regards to DH.My dh is a lifelong gambler. He started at 18 and never stopped. I didn’t realize just how bad it was until after we were married. It has taken several years and lots of heartache. We have finally found a system that works for us. Nothing is in my husband’s name and we share no accounts. When he works which is rare, we do direct deposit directly into to my account. I don’t carry cash and I don’t give him access to my debit cards. We stopped using credit along time ago. The one vehicle we have is only in my name. DH realizes that cash in hand is a major issue but I can not get him to go to outside professional help. Currently he is serving the role as stay at home Dad. I am still conflicted about what decision I will ultimately make but right now I need to get things straight financially so I can make some clear headed decisions. When I say he doesn’t seem to be on board, I don’t mean he is spending cash per se.. for instance I shop with a very tight food budget and shop for specific meals. I know it sounds crazy but I will plan out meals for two weeks etc. Hubby seems to disregard this and will jus make some hamburgers for his friends one day and that can throw us off track. Sometimes I feel like the worst person by locking down the food, and gas supply. Dh doesn’t get that 5 dollars here or there adds up. I know this part of the issue and me not saying no in the past that I am thinking of including a line item in our budget that accounts for his costs per month. I read TMMO and know that both spouses need to be on the plan for this to work . I am at least trying to get in a position to move on if that’s what I chose.
Long winded I know but I hope that explains some things.
When you are listing things for either figuring your budget on your own or with our help you need to include EVERYTHING, haircuts, gym shoes, scout fees, and blow money—yes blow money. Everyone gets some. The Total Money Maker Over is the best place to start if you are not in Financial Peace University (FPU) You can get it for free from your local library. Read it make notes, copy the forms in the back of the book and ask questions here. There is no such thing as a bad or stupid question, except the one you don’t ask. So ask away.You will notice the mention of homework here. It is a voluntary thing we do every Monday. We report to each other the advances and back steps we each take. It helps us see where we’ve made mistakes or had great success and the group will encourage you along the way. Also once a month there is a voluntary reporting to Sharon (if she is still up for doing it for 2013) our individual monthly debt payoff. Then at the end of the year Sharon tells us how the group did as a whole. It’s a pretty impressive amount!Oh, another thing you will see mention of is Pollyanna Pills. It’s an inside joke here. I got the reputation of being a Pollyanna (as in the Disney film with Pollyanna who always found the bright side in everything) when I announced the day that my guys lost their jobs that it was the best thing that ever happened to us. You know what I was right. Anyway, if someone is having a down day/week/month we issue an rx for Pollyanna pills.We are like a big old family, and just like a big old family we will ask you the tough questions. I’ll ask the first ones, because I foresee a possible stumbling block in your path to financial freedom. Is your husband getting help with his gambling problem? How are you dealing with it? Are you enabling him? Please don’t feel upset that I/we ask such questions. We all have some problem that we must deal with. It might not be gambling, it might be being able to say no to a family member/friend over and over again(our biggest problem in this household—it took us a long time to grow a backbone and learn to say no with conviction and stick to it), a collection habit, a hobby habit, a shoe habit, or the general “I WANT IT NOW” (envision Violet in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory-oompah, oompah –sorry seeing little orange men). we have all had a stumbling block. We’ve all had to deal with it in some way or another. It’s what you do to deal with it that can make all the difference in your gazelle speed on getting debt free. Everyone here is good at offering suggestions. If our suggestions don’t work for you then that is fine. No too families are identical.